by Eric and Marites Ingles
When Fr Nico retired in the Philippines, and in keeping with our family tradition to care for Jesuit friends, we adopted him. Though we met several times before his post as Superior General, it was only during this retirement when we were blessed to know him in more personal ways.
Fr Nico was available. He always answered “yes” to our invitations despite his important responsibilities in the Society even during retirement. From lunch invitations to selected restaurants at the UP Town Center or dinner meals in our home, Fr Nico would pleasantly oblige. Even requests made through Fr Tony Moreno to visit Fr Nico at the St Ignatius Wellness Center in Kamushakuji and at the Kokuritsu Seishin Shinkyu Iryo Kenkyuu Sentaa (hospital) were accepted.
It was not just his physical presence. Fr Nico listened.He would attentively direct his attention to each of us as we spoke, hear our family stories and concerns with our work and missions, and enjoy the songs of and conversations with our granddaughter Sachi. During one of the daily Masses in the Jesuit Wellness Center, he whispered to Sachi, “Please read more often in our Masses here since you speak clearly and keep us awake,”
Meals with Fr Nico were a delight since he ate with gusto. His favorites were any Japanese meal, Kalamata olives, genuine Spanish fabada, turrones, and gelato. And yes, sake and single malt whiskey. When we saw him gobbling up his platito of Kalamata olives, we slowly slid him a second serving. Still chewing on the first serving, he reached out for his additional olives, humming as he usually did.
Fr Nico was a peaceful person who generously shared his smile and warm hellos. He was not one for chattiness, yet, he kept abreast with the conversations with his gentle nodding, his “hmmmm”, and occasional one-sentence replies. For instance, when we were discussing a highly emotional subject of the extra judicial killings and the silence of some church leaders, a few Jesuits included, Fr Nico in almost a monotone replied, “They will act when it comes close to them.” Then said nothing more.
He never rebuffed us or suggested we keep a distance when, out of concern with his frequent falling as his illness progressed, we would remind him to slow down in walking or held him as he wobbled. He obediently nodded with a “yes” and smiled.
Fr Nico was famous for starting a joke and then bursting out laughing midway. It was our signal that the punchline was next. Eric asked him how he handled almost 18,000 super intelligent beings in the Society. He looked Eric in the eye and quipped: “a bottle of mixed nuts”.
Then there was this visit to the Sacred Heart Novitiate with Architect VP Pinpin. We shared an idea then for a chapel near the cemetery. Explaining that it would be a covered shelter to protect people from the heat and rain as they visited deceased Jesuits, we showed him pictures of Jesus that could be apt at the center of the proposed chapel. Fr Nico gestured to a picture of a smiling Jesus.
Mindful of others like the Japanese people. CB Garrucho and Marites visited Fr Nico in Tokyo and had prepared to take him out to lunch knowing that he had wanted this. Before he entered the reception room, a Jesuit welcomed us and kindly suggested that we have our meal in their dining room. Unaware of this arrangement, Fr Nico asked us about the restaurant we were going to soon after we exchanged greetings. There was an awkward silence as we all looked to the other Jesuit in the room. After what seemed like a long time, Fr Nico finally said, “We eat here.” The other Jesuit rushed out to prepare our lunch.
On another occasion, we brought a few bento boxes for a Japanese lunch meal at the Arrupe International Residence. Fr Nico, Fr Tom O’Gorman, and Fr Arnel Aquino were the only ones around. Before saying grace, Fr Nico remembered a lady at the reception and asked her to join us for lunch.
In one of his visits at the Tokyo hospital, Eric brought Fr Nico a wooden holding cross, which Fr Nico immediately clasped. It became more of a grip as he would not let it go.
On Eric’s last visit, when Fr Nico was no longer doing well, he noticed that the wooden cross was missing. It was at the bedside table. Eric raised it for Fr Nico to see. With the nurse’s help, Eric was able to take off Fr Nico’s left hand glove and place the cross in his hand. As both said goodbye to each other, Fr Nico miraculously managed to raise his bandaged right arm and pulled in Eric for a long warm embrace, whispering a faint blessing. An October Medal was shining atop his IV stand, still there from the previous visit.
The planned mid-February visit in 2020 was cancelled due to the Covid-19.
We are grateful to the Society of Jesus for sharing Fr Nico. Our sincere thanks to Fr Johnny Go for re-introducing our family to Fr Nico soon after his appointment as Superior General; to Fr Riyo Mursanto, Rector of Arrupe International Residence, for his quiet permission to have us take out Fr Nico; to Fr Tu Ja, who accompanied and guided Fr Nico; Fr Joe Quilongquilong for handing our basket of fruits to Fr Nico soon after he arrived for his retirement; to Fr Tony Moreno who paved the way for several visits in Tokyo; to Fr Renzo De Luca for allowing our visits in Japan; and to Fr Nico for being one with our family.
Semper Deo gratias et Mariae.
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